WITH ALL THIS "AWWWESOME" WORKOUTS ALL IN ONE DAY... MY ENDORPHINS WAS RUNNING SUPER HIGH AND I COULDN'T HELP BUT SMILE AND JUST GO OUT AND DO MORE!!!! AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I DID!!!
I WENT TO WORK THAT SAME DAY AND...
I JUMP ROPES AGAIN WITH MY CLIENTS AND IT VERY WELL WORTH IT!!! IT ONLY MOTIVATED & INSPIRED ME MORE TO PUSH FORWARD!!!
I JUST COULDN'T SIT THERE AND RELAX... AND SATURDAY IS MY "CHEAT DAY!!!"
MY STEP COUNTER FOR SATURDAY SHOWED THAT I DID 14473 STEPS... EQUIVALENT TO 8.6 MILES!!! BURNING 2934 CALORIES!!!
AND FOR DINNER...
CHINESE COLD GINGER CHICKEN!!!
NOT EXACTLY A CHEAT MEAL, BUT IT WAS "ONOLICIOUS!!!" MAYBE I NEED TO ADD SOME "LIQUID ALOHA" TO THIS... LOL!!!
AND THAT IS HOW I ENDED MY SATURDAY!!!
SO TRUE!!!
AND NOW ON TO MY "ALOHA SUNDAY"...
TODAY IS MY "REST DAY"... LITERALLY MEANS THAT I DO NOTHING AND JUST LET MY BODY REST AND RECOVER FROM MY "AWWWESOME" WEEK BEFORE AND AT THE SAME TIME PREPARING MYSELF FOR THE NEXT "AWWWESOME" WEEK AHEAD!!!
SINCE I DIDN'T REALLY REWARD MYSELF TO A A "CHEAT MEAL" THE DAY BEFORE... I DID SOMETHING DIFFERENT TODAY...
I MADE A HIGH PROTEIN BREAKFAST...
BROILED RIBEYE AND EGGS WHITES!!!
TO BE HONEST... IT DIDN'T TASTE ALL THAT GREAT... I KINDA MISS MY "WHEY PROTEIN"... LOL!!! GUESS I'LL JUST STICK TO MY SALMONS!!!
THINGS HAS BEEN LOOKING UP FOR ME AFTER A VERY STRESSFUL AND CHALLENGING SUMMER.
DURING THE SUMMER... 2 OF MY BEST FRIENDS WERE AFFECTED BY PERSONAL EVENTS THAT HAVE OCCURRED.
I LOST ONE FRIEND AND HURT ANOTHER FRIEND THAT I DEEPLY REGRET. MY ATTITUDE AND FEELINGS WAS ALL MESSED UP. I WAS CONFUSED, SCARED, EMBARRASSED, GUILTY, AND I COULD ON AND ON. AND I'LL JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT.
SEVERAL WEEKS AGO I REFOCUSED MYSELF AND WENT INTO A DEEP PROCESS OF BEING "HONEST" WITHIN MYSELF AS TO HOW I VALUE MYSELF... AND WHAT I DISCOVERED WAS VERY UNPLEASANT AND I WAS VERY DISAPPOINTED. I BLAMED THE ENVIRONMENT AND MY SURROUNDINGS FOR MY SHORTCOMINGS AND UNHAPPINESS WHEN THE TRUTH IS "I ALLOWED" ALL OF THESE NEGATIVE ENERGY INTO MY LIFE AND WHAT THAT DID WAS ALLOW MYSELF TO HIDE MY TRUE SELF AND I'VE BECAME A DESTRUCTIVE PERSON TOWARDS MYSELF AND OTHERS AROUND ME... ESPECIALLY TOWARDS MY FAMILY AND MY DEAREST FRIENDS THAT LOVED ME VERY MUCH.
IT WAS A VERY HARSH REALITY AND I KNEW IF I DIDN'T MAKE IMMEDIATE CHANGES... I WAS ON A PATH TO DESTRUCTION AND HARM TO EVERYONE AROUND ME.
AND NOW... THE MOMENT "I ACCEPTED" MYSELF AND MADE THE COMMITMENT AND DESIRE TO LIVE AN HONEST AND PASSIONATE LIFESTYLE AND BE TRUTHFUL AT ALL TIMES TO MYSELF WILL REFLECT UPON OTHERS AROUND ME AND I NOW "ACCEPT CHANGE" IN MY LIFE.
ITS BEEN 3 WEEKS NOW AND AMAZING THINGS HAS BEEN HAPPENING FOR ME. MY HEALTH AND FITNESS, MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH FAMILY & FRIENDS, MY FINANCES, MY KAHEALANI, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY... MYSELF!!!
AS MOST OF YOU ALL KNOW... KAHEALANI IS DOING VERY WELL IN HER SCHOOL, I'VE INVOLVED MYSELF WITH MORE HEALTH & FITNESS ACTIVITIES SUCH AS AEROBICS, JUMP ROPES, CROSSFIT, THE UPCOMING SPARTAN RACE, VOLUNTEERING AS A EMS FOR THE UPCOMING "IRONMAN TRIATHLON WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP RACE IN KONA, HAWAI'I THIS OCTOBER, AS FOR MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS... I MAKE EFFORTS TO EXPRESS MYSELF HONESTLY WITH NO REGRETS, AS FOR MY FINANCE... I PAY MY TITHES TO MY CHURCH, AND MORE ME... I START EVERYDAY WITH GRATEFULNESS AND BE OF SERVICE TO MY SURROUNDINGS.
AS THIS IS ONLY THE BEGINNING!!! I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE AT PEACE WITHIN MYSELF!!!
AS I RECENTLY SAID TO SOMEONE...
"DO NOT JUDGE ME BY MY WORDS, BUT JUDGE ME BY MY ACTIONS AND MY BEHAVIORS"
TO BE CONTINUED...
AND I SHARE THIS WITH ALL OF YOU...
1. Take Responsibility for Resentments
If you haven’t told the person that you’ve been
upset with them for a chronic pattern, you need to take responsibility for that
— that’s on you.
Telling them about the past year of wrongs they’ve
committed is not likely to go anywhere good, especially if the history of
things you’re upset about involve conversations that are more than a month old.
At that point, you’re putting someone in a position
of trying to remember what was said.
After more than a few weeks, be honest: No one can
remember exactly who said what with 100 percent accuracy, much less the
intonation of how it was said or the context in which it was said.
You’ve got to focus on one recent issue, and
you’ve got to ease into talking about it, not hit them over the head with the
five things they said or did wrong.
2. Take Responsibility for Your Feelings
“Just because you feel it, doesn’t mean they did
it.”
This is a mantra that has made all the difference
in my relationships, especially in my marriage.
You might be convinced that someone’s behavior
means X, Y or Z.
You also might be taking it personally. Even if it
seems that this must be impossible, this warrants deep, deep consideration,
because while I can’t say this with scientific accuracy, I’m guessing that 90
percent of conflicts are about people taking things personally.
The quickly written email? The voicemail someone
forgot to return? Your husband’s seeming disinterest in the magazine article
you want to talk about? Your friend sending the birthday card a week late?
These are the things that people get angry about,
and it’s not personal. People are busy. People forget things. People aren’t
interested in the same things.
Stop making it mean something — especially
something about how much they do or don’t love you. Consider how it might feel
if you were on the other side of this. What compassion would you want when you
do something in haste? When you forget?
If you walk into a conversation with accusations,
without first taking responsibility for where you’re taking things personally,
then you’re walking into the conversation with blame. That’s not a meeting of
two equals who respect one another.
If you’re not respecting someone else, it’s hard
to expect the same in return.
3. Use a Common Language
For years, I couldn’t understand how or why it was
that I’d use all the respectful “I”
messages in the world, and then someone
would accuse me of “reading from a script” when I was talking with them about
an area of conflict.
Wasn’t using “I” statements taking total ownership
for my part? Wasn’t phrasing everything as a request instead of demand supposed
to promote more connection?
It does, but for people who are not versed in this
style of speaking, it sounds distant. Arrogant. Perhaps even a little bit
manipulative. You don’t sound like your normal, everyday, conversational self.
They can tell, and they wonder what’s up.
Find ways to communicate your needs and requests
in such a way that it truly sounds like you. Again, you’re throwing the ball so
that they can catch it, because that’s the only way that two people can truly
communicate.
4. Give People Time to Respond
Many of us have grown up with parents who, when
they wanted us to stop a behavior, said something like, “If you don’t stop that
right now, you’re going to be put in time out!”
The consequences of our behavior were made
immediately clear to us. You do X? You’re going to get Y.
It can be tempting to go to that place when
sorting through a conflict, and it’s not uncommon in a society infused with
self-help messages to find someone distorting those messages, getting just a
tad bit high-minded.
“If she doesn’t stop doing that, then she’s being
a toxic friend and thus I must not associate with her any longer!”
Problem: Bringing that energy into a conversation
is not helpful.
Now, when someone’s yelling at you, doing
something dangerous or has impulse control issues, then yes, you’ve got to let
people know the impact of their behavior and what your boundary is.
It’s critical that you say in such cases, “I feel
disrespected when you _______, and if that doesn’t stop, I’m going to get off
the phone.”
But when the conflict is about everyday life and
living? Be open to negotiation, a response from the other person, rather than
throwing up a pre-emptive boundary.
Give people space to take your thoughts in,
breathe with them and feel like the two of you are mutually working out
options— not like they’re going to get a consequence if they don’t do things
your way.
Good communication actually promotes connection,
not one person’s agenda. Ask yourself before speaking or sending that email: If
I heard someone say this to me, would I feel closer and more connected?
5. Come to Difficult Conversations with Several
Solutions
Most people think mostly about how to tell someone
that they are upset.
Less attention is given to how to find
mutually-agreeable solutions.
Let’s say that a friend forgot your birthday. You
know that a part of you is taking it personally — of course she still loves you
and forgetting your birthday was totally unintentional.
At the same time, you notice that some distance
has cropped up between you. You notice that when she forgot this birthday, you
suddenly remembered every other time that she forgot something important to
you.
It occurs to you that perhaps this is a pattern,
one that you’d like to stop, because it’s causing disconnection in the
relationship.
This is all great content to notice.
Now, before you have the conversation, dial down
into what your desired outcomes are. You want connection, right? She probably
wants that, too.
Take the emphasis away from getting an apology
from her. That makes you the wronged party and her the bad guy.
Instead, put emphasis on how you can bring more
connection into your relationship. Brainstorm solutions. What are some ways
that all parties involved can get their connection needs met?
That might mean that one solution is acceptance.
Sometimes we need to love people where they are at, rather than wanting them to
show up differently.
You might need to get over it when it comes to her
forgetting things. Other times, there’s an opportunity for humor. Maybe you two
can strike a deal, keeping it light-hearted: “New friendship rule: She who
forgets birthdays springs for a fancy restaurant!”
By all means, go into the conversation prepared to
respectfully share your feelings and be honest. At the same time, when the
focus of the conversation is that someone needs to apologize and change their
behavior for you to be happy, most people are going to feel a sort of grudging
resentment at being called to task.
At the end of the day, throwing the ball so that
someone else can catch it is about showing up with love.
When the desire for connection between equals is
at the forefront of the conversation, it’s likely to feel less charged, and
there’s a greater likelihood that everyone involved will get their needs met.
AWWWRITE!!!
WAIPA
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